Reminisce
by Seriously Sam
Summary: Lupin tries to console Harry after Sirius's death. Spoilors OotP


Title- Reminisce  
  
Summary- Lupin tries to console Harry after Sirius's death. Spoilors OotP  
  
Rating- PG  
  
Disclaimer- None of these characters belong to me.  
  
The summer was cold, it was the coldest summer in all of history, or so that's what fifteen-year-old Harry Potter thought. Harry sat in the front lawn, doing nothing in particular. The cold wind was biting at his ears and nose, but he ignored it. He had a one-track mind lately, only thinking about his godfather, Sirius. He was so far away.  
  
Harry could hear footsteps to his right. He didn't look to see who was coming; he just kept staring down at the ground. The footsteps drew closer and closer. A shadow was now blocking the sunlight from hitting Harry, the only warmth he was getting.  
  
Harry turned his head up to see Remus Lupin staring down at him. He wondered way Lupin was here, what could be possibly want? Harry has just sent an owl to Tonks yesterday, saying that everything was fine at the Dursley's.  
  
Lupin looked horrible. He was far skinnier then usual, his face seemed sunken. Two nights ago, there was a full moon; he must still be getting over the effects. Lupin stared at Harry, waiting for him to speak. Harry turned his attention back to the ground, not saying anything.  
  
"Mind if an old man joins you?" Lupin asked in a tired voice.  
  
"No." Harry answered in a whisper.  
  
Lupin, who didn't hear Harry's answer, took it as a yes. He sat down beside him and said nothing. He looked over at him to see Harry playing with an imaginary spot on the grass. Lupin searched for the right words and was about to say them, but to his surprise, Harry spoke first.  
  
"What are you doing here, of all places?"  
  
"To see you." Lupin was somewhat taken aback by Harry's cold tone.  
  
"You must want something." Harry turned to look at him.  
  
"No… I just wanted to talk to you… if that's alright."  
  
Harry said nothing. He turned back to the ground. Lupin noticed Harry's ears were completely red, along with his cheeks and nose. Lupin unfastened his black cloak and draped it over Harry, at an attempt to warm him up.  
  
"I know how you're feeling, if you want to believe it or not." Lupin spoke in a soft tone. "He was a good friend of mine and I know that he was like a father to you…"  
  
"He was the closest thing I ever had to a parent." Harry whispered, as tears stung his eyes.  
  
"I know you haven't talked about his death to anyone… I haven't talked about it either. I know it's hard, but you have to talk about it. Once you do… you're free."  
  
"I don't want to forget him." Harry said louder.  
  
"You don't have to… when you're parents- when he- I kept my emotions bottled up inside me. The anger I felt towards Voldemort, the betrayal I felt towards Sirius… it was Dumbledore who helped me out of my self-pity, out of the darkest place that I've ever been. We talked for hours about it and then I felt closure. I felt happy… like I wasn't the reason for their deaths. You need to talk about it, Mate… you need to."  
  
Lupin's words hit Harry hard in the chest. His heart started to beat fast and his chest felt as if it was about to collapse. The tears that were stinging Harry's eyes were now burning with guilt. He wasn't going to cry. Harry wiped the tears from his eyes, but the burning didn't go away against the cold wind.  
  
"I'm here for you." Lupin spoke in a calm, fatherly voice.  
  
"Despite what Professor Dumbledore says, I still feel responsible for what happened." Harry didn't bother looking up to meet Lupin's eyes.  
  
"Snape came and told us about your code message. Sirius went straight up to Kreacher and started to yell while asking questions. He told him everything Sirius wanted to know. Tonks and Moody then showed up and they were ready to leave. Snape went back to the forest and we were about to leave when Sirius stopped us. He wanted to come and he wouldn't listen to a word we had to say. All he kept saying was, 'Harry is my godson and I have to save him… that's what James and Lily would want.' So, we let him… mainly because none of us could stop him. You see, Harry, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't Sirius's or Dumbledore's. It wasn't Tonks's, Monody's, or mine. It was nobody's fault, but Voldemort's. It is his fault and his fault only."  
  
"I was stupid… I thought that he was in danger and then I just turned out to get him in danger." Harry said in a soft, childish voice. "I didn't practice… I couldn't keep him out of my head because I didn't want to. I wanted to know when people were going to get hurt so I could help them… now look where it's gotten Sirius."  
  
"Sirius is with James and Lily… he's happy. They're watching after you, even if you can't see them… come on. I want to take you somewhere."  
  
Lupin got up and then held his hand out for Harry. He looked up at Lupin and then grabbed his hand. Lupin draped an arm around Harry and the two started to walk down the street. Harry had no idea where Lupin was taking him, but he didn't care. He was getting away from Private Drive and that's all that mattered to him. He was with someone who did understand what he was going through, Lupin was just as close to Sirius as he was, maybe even closer.  
  
"Where are we going?" Harry asked.  
  
"Somewhere private." Lupin replied.  
  
After about twenty minutes of walking in the bitter cold, Lupin stopped outside a small, but quite looking house. Lupin walked up the driveway and pulled out a set of keys. He jammed them into the lock and then pushed the door open. He stepped aside to let Harry in and then he walked in after Harry. Lupin then closed the door behind him.  
  
Harry looked around to see a small living room. There was a couch, a chair, a fireplace with many pictures of him, James, Sirius, Lily, and Peter Pettigrew, and lots of knick-knacks.  
  
"Sit." Lupin sat down on a couch and waited for Harry to sit down.  
  
"Is this your home?" Harry asked as he walked straight to the fireplace.  
  
"Yeah… nothing spectacular, just a living room, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, and, of course, a basement for the full moons. Sit down, Harry, you can look at the pictures later." Harry turned around to see a pensive bowl sitting on the coffee table.  
  
"What's that for?" Harry asked.  
  
Lupin didn't reply. He took his wand and held it to his head. Then he put his wand in the bowl and a silver substance shot out and floated in the bowl. He did the same thing again. Then with a sigh he said, "There are two thoughts in here that I think you should see. I'm more then willing to show you thoughts from my childhood with your father and Sirius, but you need to see these two. Go ahead."  
  
Harry went over to Lupin and looked down at the bowl. Harry then leaned forward and then found himself in a living room. James, Lily, Sirius, Lupin, and Peter were sitting, none of them saying a word. Harry felt a hand on his shoulder and looked behind him to see the older version of Lupin.  
  
"I just don't understand." He heard his mother say. "Why does Voldemort want us?"  
  
"Lily… d-don't worry about it. Ev-ev-everything is go-going to turn out right as rain." Harry's eyes looked over at him with pure hatred.  
  
"Lily, everything is going to be right… Wormtail's right. We got away from him before… we'll get away again." James snaked his arm around Lily.  
  
"James, look what happened to the Longbottoms'… poor little Neville."  
  
Harry's head snapped when he heard a crying noise from the other room. Lily got up from the couch and left, passing him, not even noticing he was there. Lupin draped an arm around Harry, once again.  
  
"Over here." Lupin spoke softly to Harry.  
  
The two walked so that they were behind the couch where Sirius, Peter, and Lupin's younger selves were sitting. Now they had a clear view of James. He got up and looked down at Sirius and Lupin. The happiness seemed to be drained from his face.  
  
"I want you three to listen and I want you to listen good. I don't care what happens to me… all I want is for Lily and Harry to be all right. If I die I want you three to watch after them." James said in a serious tone.  
  
"Listen, Prongs, you aren't going to die. You, Lil, and Harry are going to live a long life together." Sirius jumped off the couch to come face to face with his best friend.  
  
"Sit down, Padfoot." James told him as he did so.  
  
"Calm down." Lupin hissed at Sirius.  
  
"Whatever happens, just make sure my little boy's happy. Make sure that he grows up healthy and with lots of love. Make sure that he will always know whom his old man is. All I want is for him to be happy… please… make sure he's happy." James told his three friends.  
  
"I'll be there for him, I will protect him even if that means losing my life. He's my godson…" Sirius told him as Lily came back in with Harry in her arms.  
  
"Look who's up." Lily smiled as she handed Harry over to James.  
  
"Hey, Har." James smiled down at Harry with such compassion.  
  
"He's so beautiful. Look at those big green eyes." Sirius got up and looked at the bundle in James's arms.  
  
"He looks just like James. See that messy hair?" the younger Lupin laughed slightly.  
  
"Time to go, Harry." Lupin grabbed Harry's arm and the room started to swirl.  
  
They were now in the Black Manor. He could see an older Lupin and Sirius sitting at the kitchen table. They had some tea and biscuits; they were eating as they were talking. Lupin escorted Harry to stand behind the slightly younger Lupin.  
  
"I need to get out of this house. Kreacher is driving me mad, wish he would just crawl in a hole and die." Sirius gave out a long sigh.  
  
"It's for your safety, Sirius. If anything happened to you Harry would be heart broken." Lupin told his old friend.  
  
"Harry means everything to me… I promised Lily and James that I would take care of him, make sure he was healthy and happy, and I don't think I'm doing my job good enough. He's miserable when he goes to the Dursley's. He's as skinny as skinny can be… I just wish I could have been there for him more, Moony." Sirius looked down at his tea.  
  
"Harry's happy when he's around you. He's happy because he knows he can trust you. He's happy because he can always turn to you anytime he needs anything." Lupin told him.  
  
"If anything happens to me, I want you to take on my responsibility. I want you to watch over him." Sirius said in a serious tone.  
  
"Nothing is going to happen to you. You're safe here."  
  
"I don't want to say in this house. I want to get out. I'm trapped here. I need some fresh air! I need to see Harry! I just need something more then this!" Sirius yelled.  
  
"Don't go looking for trouble." Lupin warned him.  
  
"Promise me, Remus. Promise me you'll look after him and then I'll be happy."  
  
"Okay… I'll look after him if anything happens, even though nothing is."  
  
"I would die for Harry."  
  
"Let's go." Lupin told Harry as the room swirled again.  
  
They were now back in Lupin's living room. He took out his wand and put the thoughts back in his head. He leaned back on the couch and looked at Harry. Harry sat down on the couch and leaned back also.  
  
"I had to show you that these people in your life cared enough for you that they would die for you. It's not anybodies fault, especially not yours. They chose that, they chose that for you." Lupin told Harry.  
  
"Thank-you…" Harry gave Lupin a small smile.  
  
"I guess it's my duty to watch over you. You be careful now. We better get back to the Dursley's before Dumbledore finds out I've taken you away. Let's go, Harry."  
  
"One question… why is it so cold in mid-July?" Harry asked.  
  
"Because all of the wizarding world is all saddened, afraid, and worried. There is no happiness because Lord Voldemort is back. Because so many people are in fear… the world just simply can't warm up. There's no warmth left in the wizarding world, Harry. Let's go. You can come back tomorrow and I'll show you my pictures and even tell you some stories if you want."  
  
"That would be great. Maybe some more thoughts too?" Harry asked.  
  
"One day at a time, Mate."  
  
"Thank-you, Remus."  
  
Author's Notes- This is my first Harry Potter story, so please if you must flame then flame, but do do it nicely. Please review. 


End file.
